The Dangerous Habit of Living a Divided Life

Why we say we trust God… but still resist Him

Integrity is still one of the most admired qualities in a person.

When we describe someone as having integrity, we usually mean they are honest, dependable, and trustworthy. Their character matches their words.

But the word integrity actually has a deeper meaning than most of us realize.

It comes from a mathematical idea. The word is connected to the term integral, which refers to something that is whole and complete.

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Integrity simply means this:

A person is not divided with beliefs, actions, and values aligned.

They are whole.

Yet if we’re honest, most of us don’t live that way all the time. Parts of our lives move in different directions. What we say we believe and how we actually live can sometimes drift apart.

Many of us trust God in theory. But in practice, we often hold onto control.

This tension between belief and surrender is one of the oldest spiritual struggles in human history. And one of the clearest examples of it appears in the story of Pharaoh in the book of Exodus.

Pharaoh’s First Response to God

In Exodus 5, Moses and Aaron confront Pharaoh with a message from God:

“This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘Let my people go, so that they may hold a festival to me in the wilderness.’”— Exodus 5:1

Pharaoh’s response is blunt:

“Who is the Lord, that I should obey him and let Israel go? I do not know the Lord and I will not let Israel go.”— Exodus 5:2

With that statement, Pharaoh reveals something deeper than political defiance. He exposes the posture of his heart.

Throughout the Exodus story, Pharaoh becomes the defining example of a hardened heart.

Sometimes the text tells us that God hardened Pharaoh’s heart. Other times we read that Pharaoh hardened his own heart.

For example:

“When Pharaoh saw that the rain and hail and thunder had stopped … he and his officials hardened their hearts.”— Exodus 9:34

Pharaoh repeatedly witnessed the power of God. Yet each time relief came, his heart returned to resistance.

His life fell into a predictable pattern:

• A crisis would strike.

• Pharaoh would plead for relief.

• But the moment things improved, he would return to control.

Pharaoh wasn’t simply stubborn.

He was divided.

The Problem of the Divided Heart

The New Testament describes this condition as double-mindedness.

James writes that a double-minded person is unstable in all their ways. A divided heart produces an unstable life. Pharaoh constantly moved between two positions. At moments he acknowledged God’s power. But when pressure lifted, he returned to self-rule.

His real problem wasn’t ignorance.

It was control.

Pharaoh had two thrones.

One in Egypt and one in his heart.

And on both thrones, Pharaoh was seated.

The Quiet Way We Resist God

The struggle Pharaoh faced is not unique to ancient kings. It shows up in ordinary lives every day. We pray when life gets difficult. We promise God our devotion when we feel desperate. But when things improve, we slowly drift back into self-reliance.

God becomes someone we consult rather than someone we follow.

We want God’s help, but we hesitate to give Him control.

That is the dangerous habit of living a divided life.

How Hearts Become Hardened

Callouses form through repetition.

When skin experiences constant friction, it thickens. Over time, sensitivity fades. I have callouses on my fingers from playing guitar. The strings press firmly against them, but I barely feel it anymore.

Something similar can happen spiritually.

When we repeatedly resist the voice of God, our hearts slowly become less responsive. What once convicted us stops affecting us. The voice that once felt clear begins to sound distant.

Not because God stopped speaking.

But because we stopped listening.

A Personal Moment of Misalignment

I experienced this kind of internal tension early in my life.

When I graduated high school, I chose to study agricultural science in college. It seemed like a responsible decision, and I needed an answer to the question everyone kept asking:

“What are you going to do with your life?”

So I committed to it.

But semester after semester something felt off.

I remember sitting in a classroom studying irrigation pressure equations for orchard systems and trying to convince myself I loved it.

Yet the moments that made me come alive were not in the classroom. They were in conversations about faith. I found myself starting Bible studies with classmates and professors.

Eventually I realized something.

My life had become divided.

On paper I was pursuing one path, but internally God was drawing me somewhere else. It took courage to surrender that path. But surrender is often where wholeness begins.

Surrender is often where wholeness begins.

Two Very Different Kings

Pharaoh represents the refusal to surrender.

Jesus represents the opposite.

Pharaoh clung to power.

Christ emptied Himself (Philippians 2).

Pharaoh’s stubbornness ultimately led to the death of his firstborn son. But our redemption came through the willing sacrifice of God’s firstborn Son. Through the surrender of Christ, new life became possible for us.

From Stone to Flesh

Scripture promises that God can do something remarkable within the human heart.

In Ezekiel 36, God says:

“I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”

A heart of stone is resistant and hardened. A heart of flesh is responsive and alive. The journey from stone to flesh begins when we surrender the throne. When we stop treating God as an assistant to our plans and allow Him to become the Lord of our lives.

When every part of our lives, our ambitions, our relationships, our decisions begins to align with Him. That is the path from division to wholeness.

And it is an invitation God still extends today.

Keep Looking Up!